stay
by minachandler
Summary: Set at the end of 3x07. After resigning from CCPD, Barry goes back to Joe's for dinner and then offers to walk Iris home.


It's late, almost eleven o'clock, when Iris finally gets to her feet and says she's going home.

"'Kay, honey," Joe says, stifling a yawn with his hand.

"See ya," says Wally, and Iris smiles, puts her hand on her brother's shoulder briefly.

"Want me to walk you home?" Barry offers. The smile doesn't leave Iris's face as she nods, extending her hand to him. Barry takes it, lets her lead him to the door, and after a quick wave at Joe and Wally they're outside.

Iris is quiet, though, as they walk hand-in-hand through the deserted streets.

"Hey," Barry says softly, "you okay?"

"Are you?" she counters. "I mean, would you be, if you're going back to Cisco's?"

Barry chuckles humourlessly. "I… uh… was going to spend the night at Star Labs, actually."

Iris stops in her tracks at that. "What?"

"I mean, I do own it," he says. "And it's warm there. And I don't really want to go back to Joe's."

"I get that," she says, "but you know where else is warm?"

"Where?"

Iris nudges him. "My place, dummy."

"I don't want to –"

"I want you to stay," she says firmly. Then she rolls her eyes at the look on his face. "And if you really insist on being a gentleman you can sleep on the couch, I really don't mind. Just –"

"Just what?"

"I just don't want you to be alone, Barry," Iris tells him.

"You don't want me to be alone or _you_ don't want to be alone?"

She considers, and as they near her apartment the light of the streetlamp gives their silhouettes a warm glow. "Both," she says.

"You didn't answer my question, though," Barry says. "You seem a bit… off. Ever since you heard from Singh that I resigned. Is something wrong?"

"You're perceptive, Flash, I'll give you that," Iris says with another soft smile that makes Barry's heart drop to his stomach. "Not to mention persistent."

"I'm just worried about you," he says sincerely.

They reach her apartment, and Iris busies herself with unlocking the door and then resetting the alarm. He reaches for her wrist, though, and on an impulse he presses a kiss on her palm. She smiles at that, and Barry's reassured just a little as he leads her to the couch.

"What's wrong?" Barry asks again.

"What happened with Caitlin… it was my fault."

Barry frowns; he's not sure what he expected to hear but it wasn't that.

"What are you talking about?"

"I mean… when Savitar had you, HR suggested the odds would be better if it were three against one. And Caitlin… at first she said no. She said it was too risky. So I… I begged her to go. If she hadn't used her powers she wouldn't have kidnapped Julian and you wouldn't have lost your job protecting her!"

She's crying now, and it hurts him, pierces him in his soul in a way Caitlin's ice stiletto never quite managed to penetrate. Immediately Barry hugs her, enclosing her in his arms, kissing the top of her head, shushing her.

"It's okay," he tells her. "You're okay."

"That job was your life, Bear," Iris says. "You put everything into it and you worked so hard to get there. And Julian made you throw it all away and that's on me."

"I told you," Barry says firmly, " _you're_ my life. You are."

"But that was your life too."

"It's just a job. And –" She still won't look him in the eye, for some reason, so he kneels in front of her, hands framing her face. "It's not your fault."

Iris breathes deeply, tries to regain some of her composure. Barry wipes her tears away with his thumb. It helps. "I asked Caitlin to use her powers."

"And if she didn't, I wouldn't be alive right now."

"But she said it was too risky and I didn't listen," Iris says. "And I should have, I just – didn't want to lose you."

"You won't," Barry assures her.

"You promise?"

"Cross my heart," he says solemnly. "And I mean – it's like you said. If you go over the what-ifs, it's just going to tear you apart." Barry grimaces. "Trust me, I know."

"I do," she says softly. "Trust you, I mean. But I was still scared as hell when you told Caitlin to kill you."

"So was I," Barry admits. "But I also knew she was still a good person underneath all that. I just had to – coax it out of her, I guess."

"You're good at that."

She leans forward, then, and kisses him, and he can taste the tears still on her lips as his hand goes to the back of her neck.

"Thank you," she whispers against his mouth.

He kisses her back, tongue darting out to lick her lower lip, and then he buries his face into her neck.

"You're welcome," he mouths back into her skin. His knees are starting to go numb, now, so he gets to his feet, taking Iris with him, not breaking the kiss.

 _I love you,_ he wants to say.

"You're staying, right?" she asks, pulling away and looking up at him. "I want you to stay."

"You sure?" he murmurs.

Her arms go around his neck and she answers him with another kiss. This one doesn't taste of tears but of promise, and as he lifts her off her feet he wonders if maybe – just maybe – he's going to be okay after all.


End file.
